Resources

If you are experiencing physical or emotional abuse from a partner, your safety matters. Abuse does not have to leave bruises to be serious. If someone is hurting you physically, threatening or controlling you, isolating you from others, manipulating you emotionally, or making you feel unsafe in your own home or relationship—it is still abuse. There is no one right way to respond. Some survivors leave immediately. Others take time to plan, gather support, or simply begin to name what is happening. Whatever your situation, you deserve care, protection, and dignity. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/)is available 24/7 to help you explore your options, create a safety plan, and take steps on your own terms. Abuse in relationships often builds slowly. It can start with controlling behaviors or emotional manipulation and grow more intense over time. You may not have realized it was abuse right away. You may still feel unsure. That does not make it your fault. If you are affiliated with a college, university, or workplace, you may also have access to support services. Be aware that not all of these are confidential. Most licensed mental health professionals are not required to report abuse unless someone is in grave danger. Advocates at health centers or crisis organizations often only report non-identifying information, but laws vary by state and role. Some professionals may be legally required to share identifying information if they believe someone is at risk of serious harm. If you are a parent or caregiver, it is important to know that some professionals—such as doctors, therapists, or teachers—may be required by law to report to child protective services (CPS) if they believe a child is being harmed or exposed to danger. This does not mean you are doing something wrong. In most states, these reports are meant to offer support, not punishment. If you’re unsure how your state handles this, you can speak with a legal advocate or the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (https://www.loveisrespect.org/)before disclosing any information. You deserve help—not judgment—for trying to protect your family. Your institution’s website or handbook may also help you learn which support services are confidential. Reporting is always your decision. You may feel unsure, afraid, or firmly decided not to report—and that is okay. Many survivors feel conflicted. Some still love or miss the person who hurt them. Others feel shame or confusion. These reactions are common in abusive relationships, especially when the abuse has been emotional, prolonged, or manipulative. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to feel complicated things. You are still a survivor—and you are not to blame. If you think you might want to report later, it may help to write down what you remember. This can include: • Physical or sexual assaults • Threats • Financial control • Gaslighting • Stalking • Anything else that made you feel unsafe or powerless Use a format that works for you—a journal, phone notes, voice memo, or AAC device. Add more details if they come back, and store your record somewhere safe. If you were physically or sexually assaulted and want to preserve evidence, try not to bathe, brush your teeth, change clothes, or clean the space where it happened—but only if that feels manageable. This may be uncomfortable or distressing, especially for survivors with sensory sensitivities, medical trauma, or neurodivergent needs. If you need to move or change clothes, place any items in a paper bag (not plastic) to help preserve potential evidence. If you are currently being monitored or fear your phone or computer is being tracked, try to use a safe device if possible. The Safety Net Project (https://www.techsafety.org/resources-survivors)c(https://www.techsafety.org/resources-survivors)an also help you create a technology safety plan. If planning your next steps feels overwhelming, you are not failing. You can ask for help one step at a time, or simply pause and take care of yourself. You are not alone. The next section explains medical and forensic options so you can decide what feels right for you.

If you were physically abused, it is important to receive medical care—even if you do not believe you were injured. Some injuries may be hidden, delayed, or masked by shock. A medical professional can check for harm, offer treatment, and help you take the next steps for your physical well-being. If your partner or ex-partner sexually assaulted you, you may also want to review Step 2 for sexual assault survivors, which includes more information about STI testing, emergency contraception, and sexual assault forensic exams. You are welcome to review either—or both—sets of steps to find the support that fits your experience. If you are concerned about the cost of healthcare, many services are free or low-cost. You may also be eligible for reimbursement through your state’s victim compensation program. For more information, visit the Office for Victims of Crime’s website.(https://ovc.ojp.gov/) Medical services may include: • Treatment for visible or hidden injuries • X-rays or scans to detect internal damage • Medical documentation of injuries (which may support a future report) • Referrals to follow-up care or supportive resources You are never required to accept every service offered. You can choose what feels manageable and pause or ask questions at any point. If verbal communication is hard, you can write your needs down, use a communication device, or ask an advocate to speak for you. If you are sensitive to touch, noise, light, or medical procedures, let the provider know ahead of time if possible. You have the right to ask for accommodations. Accessing care through your school If you are in college, your campus may offer medical care through a student health center. Visit your school’s website or check your handbook to learn what services are provided. If you are concerned about privacy, review what we discussed in Step 1, since not all school resources are confidential. Finding care off-campus If your school does not provide what you need—or if you prefer to go elsewhere—you can visit a local hospital or medical provider. To find one near you, contact: • The National Domestic Violence Hotline(https://www.thehotline.org/) • The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (https://www.loveisrespect.org/) These hotlines can help you find local providers and may also connect you with an advocate who can go with you to the facility, explain what to expect, or offer emotional support. If you have children, you may also want to speak with their pediatrician or a family advocacy center. Even if they were not directly harmed, they may have witnessed or been affected by what happened, and there is support for them, too. Your experience matters What happened to you is serious, even if it left no visible scars. If a doctor says you are not physically injured, that does not mean you are okay. Many survivors carry pain that is not visible. We will talk more about that in Step 6.

If you are experiencing or have experienced abuse from a partner or ex-partner at school or at work, you may have the option to report it through your school’s Title IX office or your employer’s Human Resources (HR) department. These options are separate from reporting to the police. You are not required to report to any institution. You can report to your school, your job, both, or neither—whatever feels safest and most supportive for you. Some survivors find that reporting helps them access protections or feel more in control. Others choose not to report or need more time to decide. You are allowed to make the choice that feels best for you. If you are in school Title IX is a federal law that requires schools receiving federal funding to respond to sex-based discrimination, including intimate partner violence. This includes physical abuse, dating violence, threats, stalking, or harassment in the context of a romantic or sexual relationship. Under the current Title IX regulations, your school is required to take action when abuse or harassment occurs in connection with a school program or activity, and when it interferes with your access to education. Protections may apply whether the harm occurred on campus or off, depending on your school’s policies and the specifics of your situation. If you report what happened to your school’s Title IX office, they must offer supportive measures—even if you choose not to pursue an investigation. These may include: • Adjustments to your class schedule or assignment deadlines • Changes to housing, dining, or transportation • Mental health support or counseling referrals • No-contact orders or safety planning assistance If you do choose to file a formal complaint, your school must initiate a grievance process. This process can vary, but it is required to be fair, prompt, and free from retaliation. Survivors of intimate partner abuse—especially those still connected to the person who harmed them through classes, housing, or shared communities—may face added challenges, but supportive measures are still your right. Some schools also offer informal resolution options that allow you to seek support or address the harm without launching a full investigation. Not all schools offer this pathway, so check your school’s website or speak with a campus advocate. Be mindful of confidentiality limits, as discussed in Step 1. You also have the right to: • Request that your identity remain confidential (though this may limit your school’s response) • Ask that no investigation take place (which schools may honor in many cases) • Be protected from retaliation for reporting or seeking help If you are neurodivergent or have a disability, you can ask for accommodations during the process. These may include: • Using written communication instead of speaking • Attending meetings virtually or with a support person present • Adjusting the sensory environment for safety or comfort • Taking extra time to review documents or respond to questions For more on your rights under Title IX, visit the National Women’s Law Center,(https://nwlc.org/issue/education-title-ix/) Equal Rights Advocates,(https://www.equalrights.org/issue/the-title-ix-process/) or the U.S. Department of Education.(https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/titleix-regs-unofficial.pdf) If you are in the workplace If your partner or ex-partner has abused you at work—or if their behavior is affecting your safety or well-being at work—you may have options through your employer’s Human Resources department. This could apply if the person works with you, shows up at your workplace, stalks or contacts you during work hours, or if the abuse makes it difficult for you to do your job safely. Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, employers are required to respond to harassment and sex-based discrimination, including abuse and stalking that interferes with your work. Some states also have workplace protections specific to domestic violence survivors. If you choose to report, your employer must take your complaint seriously and take appropriate steps to keep you safe and supported. If they fail to act—or if they retaliate against you—you may be able to file a charge with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or your state’s civil rights or labor agency. At work, you have the right to: • Report the abuse or safety concerns to HR or a supervisor • Ask for schedule changes, shift reassignments, remote work options, or changes to your workspace • Request a safety plan, including building access restrictions or security support • Keep your report as private as possible (though full confidentiality may not be guaranteed) • Be protected from retaliation (for example, being fired, demoted, or harassed after reporting) • File a charge with the EEOC if your employer does not respond appropriately (EEOC)(https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment) You may also be entitled to reasonable accommodations, especially if you are dealing with trauma, navigating court proceedings, or managing disability-related needs. These accommodations might include: • Flexible leave or schedule adjustments • Communication accommodations (such as using email instead of in-person meetings) • Modified workspaces or private locations for safety • Permission to have a support person attend HR meetings Some states have workplace leave laws specific to domestic violence survivors. To learn more about protections in your area, or to get help with a workplace safety plan, you can visit Equal Rights Advocates,(https://www.equalrights.org/issue/ending-sexual-harassment/) the National Women’s Law Center,(https://nwlc.org/issue/workplace-justice/) or the EEOC.(https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment) If you decide not to report That is your right. You are not required to report to your school, your job, or the police. You can still request help or accommodations in many cases, even without filing a formal complaint. You are the expert on your safety. Whether you’re ready to speak out or not, you deserve support—and you are not alone.

If you are thinking about reporting the abuse to the police, you are not alone. Some survivors find that reporting helps them feel safer or supported. Others are unsure—or already know they do not want to report. All of these decisions are valid. You are allowed to take your time. You are not required to report the abuse right away. In most states, you have time to decide. However, every state has a statute of limitations—meaning a legal time limit for when charges can be filed. These limits vary based on where you live and what kind of abuse occurred. To find out how your state defines domestic violence, dating violence, or stalking—and what the statute of limitations is—you can visit WomensLaw.org.(https://www.womenslaw.org/laws) If your state’s definition does not include what happened to you, please remember: that does not mean it was not abuse. Legal systems are limited. Your experience is still real. If there is evidence from the crime scene—such as torn clothing, broken belongings, messages, surveillance footage, or injury photos—it is best for police to collect it within 72 hours if possible. This is not a deadline for reporting the abuse itself, but it may impact what evidence is available. If you are a parent or caregiver, you may wonder how reporting will affect your children—or your ability to protect or stay with them. In many cases, a police report or restraining order can support your efforts to leave safely, protect your child, or document harm in future custody or divorce proceedings. But this is not guaranteed. You deserve legal guidance that is specific to your family’s needs. WomensLaw.org (https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/quick-guides)can help you understand how the criminal and family court systems interact in your state. Also, be aware that some professionals—including police, doctors, or therapists—may be required to contact child protective services (CPS) if they believe a child is at risk. This does not mean you are in trouble or that your child will be taken away. In many states, making a report simply triggers an offer of support. But if you are unsure how your state handles this, you can talk with a legal advocate or a domestic violence hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/)before making a report. You deserve help—not punishment—for trying to keep your children safe. If you reported the abuse to your school, you can ask a campus police officer or student safety officer to help you make a formal report. If you are not on campus, you can contact your local police department directly. If you are receiving medical care, you can also ask a nurse, doctor, or advocate to contact law enforcement for you. If you have already reported the abuse at your workplace—such as through Human Resources, security, or a supervisor—that documentation may also support you if you decide to file a police report. You can bring a copy of your HR complaint, incident log, or workplace safety plan with you. Some employers may also help you coordinate next steps, but they cannot report the abuse to police for you. That decision is yours to make. If spoken communication is difficult, or if you are worried about how to explain what happened, you are allowed to: • Write a statement ahead of time or bring written notes • Use an AAC device, text-based format, or communication board • Have a support person help you speak or explain • Ask for a calm, private room or sensory-friendly environment • Pause, stim, cry, go silent, or take breaks—these are all normal trauma responses The reporting process can take several hours. You may be asked to describe what happened more than once, or return later for follow-up interviews. Many officers have learned how abuse and trauma affect memory, language, and communication. If you freeze, go blank, or remember things out of order, that is okay. You can say, “I need a moment,” “I’m not sure,” or “Can I tell you later?” When you speak to law enforcement, they may ask: • What happened and when • Where the abuse occurred • What your relationship to the person is • Whether there have been previous incidents • What you need to feel safe now You are allowed to bring someone with you for support. This can be a friend, advocate, legal representative, therapist, or anyone you trust. If an officer asks to speak to you alone and that makes you uncomfortable, you can say no. If an officer treats you poorly—for example, if they are aggressive, dismissive, or refuse to accommodate your needs—you can ask to speak to their supervisor. You can also: • Request to move to a more private space • Ask for a different officer • Take a break or end the interview and return another time • Submit a complaint later through the department’s internal affairs office If you want more help understanding how to report abuse—or if you are unsure whether it’s the right path for you—you can visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline.(https://www.thehotline.org/resources/reporting-to-police-options-tips-for-being-prepared/) They offer 24/7 support through phone, text, or online chat, and can help you explore your options or safety plan without pressure. You can also visit WomensLaw.org (https://www.womenslaw.org/laws)to learn how reporting may affect your legal rights—especially if you are thinking about divorce, custody, or protective orders. Their online resource directory and confidential email hotline are available to survivors of all genders. And if you decide not to report the abuse, that is okay, too. Your healing and your safety are what matter most. You are still a survivor. You are still deserving of protection, respect, and care.

Whether or not the person who harmed you physically hurt you, you are allowed to take steps to increase your safety. Abuse can involve control, fear, emotional harm, or threats—not just physical violence. If you feel unsafe in your body, your environment, or your relationships, that is reason enough to plan ahead. A safety plan can help you prepare for different types of situations—like seeing your partner or ex-partner at work or school, receiving unwanted messages, or feeling overwhelmed after a difficult conversation. The goal is not to predict everything or prevent the abuse. It’s simply to help you feel more supported, protected, and in control of what happens next. If you are a parent or caregiver, your safety plan might also include your child’s routines, school arrangements, or how to stay calm and present when they are nearby. Abuse can affect children even if they are not directly harmed. You are allowed to plan for their safety and emotional well-being alongside your own. You can make your plan in whatever format works for you. Some people write it down. Others use visual cues, voice memos, text notes, diagrams, or private reminders. You do not need to share it unless you want to. Below are four areas to consider. Physical safety Think about how to navigate physical spaces in a way that feels safer for you. This could include planning around your partner or ex-partner’s known routines or avoiding areas where they are often present. • Identify routes, entrances, and exits that help you avoid contact if possible • Map out safe spaces at school, work, or in your neighborhood • Plan what to do if you are unexpectedly approached or feel threatened • If you work in person, consider whether your employer could support you with changes to your schedule, workspace, or entry points. If you reported the abuse at work, you can ask for added protections like limiting access to your location. • If sensory overload or panic responses are part of how you process fear, consider tools that help you self-regulate—such as noise-reducing headphones, grounding objects, or a sensory-safe place nearby • Save emergency contacts in your phone (or written in your bag) in case you need to act quickly To learn more about physical safety, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/resources/stalking-safety-planning/)or the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center.(https://www.stalkingawareness.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Safety-Strategies.pdf) Digital safety Technology can be a tool for connection—but also for control. Many abusive partners monitor phones, track devices, or use social media to intimidate or shame. • Consider turning off location services on your phone and apps • Make social media accounts private, and avoid posting your real-time location • Limit shared calendars or device access if you previously synced your phone or computer with your partner’s • Block or silence unknown numbers if receiving unwanted calls • If checking or changing privacy settings is confusing or overwhelming, ask a trusted person to assist For tips on digital safety, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s online safety section.(https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/internet-safety/) Emotional safety Even when you are physically safe, your emotions may feel raw, unpredictable, or hard to manage. Abuse can make it harder to trust yourself, regulate your feelings, or feel worthy of care. You deserve peace and support. • Write or record affirmations that remind you of your safety, worth, or truth • List out simple activities that help calm or soothe you—such as music, movement, stimming, deep pressure, or sensory-friendly spaces • Identify emotional triggers and brainstorm ways to manage them gently • Create a grounding plan for moments of overwhelm (e.g., 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, holding an object with texture, using a visual countdown timer) • Build a safety playlist, journal, or comfort box you can turn to when you feel emotionally unsafe If you want help exploring trauma recovery or emotional regulation, the National Child Abuse Hotline (https://www.childhelphotline.org/survivor-resources/)also offers resources for survivors of all ages. Support system A safety plan is more effective when you do not have to hold it all alone. You can choose one or more trusted people to be part of your support system—whether that’s friends, family, counselors, coworkers, school staff, or a local advocacy center. • Identify who can help if you are physically in danger, receiving digital threats, or overwhelmed emotionally • Let them know your preferred way of communicating (e.g., text only, short messages, scheduled check-ins) • Consider setting up code words or emojis to discreetly signal when you are in need • If speaking is difficult for you, make sure at least one support person understands your AAC method or communication needs • If you feel comfortable, a supervisor, manager, or HR staff member can also be part of your support network—especially if the person who harmed you has tried to contact you at work To learn more about building a support network, visit the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline (Love is Respect)(https://www.loveisrespect.org/personal-safety/create-a-safety-plan/).(https://www.loveisrespect.org/personal-safety/create-a-safety-plan/) Protective orders and documentation You may also want to consider getting a court-issued protection order. This is a legal document that may make it illegal for your partner or ex-partner to contact you, approach you, or share information about you with others. • If you are in school and reported the abuse, your school may also issue its own no-contact order • You do not need to wait for an incident to escalate before requesting a protection order • In most states, you can apply for one on your own, without a lawyer • Some advocates or domestic violence programs can help you fill out the paperwork To learn more about your options and the laws in your state, visit WomensLaw.org.(https://www.womenslaw.org/laws) If your partner or ex-partner continues to harass, stalk, or threaten you, consider writing down each incident in a journal, notebook, or secure digital folder. You may want to include: • The date, time, and location • What they said or did • How it made you feel or affected your safety • Screenshots, photos, or witness names (if applicable) You do not have to share this record with anyone unless you want to. It is for your safety, your memory, and your peace of mind. Remember, safety planning is not about fixing the past—it is about protecting your future. You are allowed to feel cautious. You are allowed to protect your space, your peace, and your voice. Whatever choices you make, you deserve support and safety as you continue forward.

Your mental and emotional well-being are just as important as your physical health. After experiencing abuse from a partner or ex-partner, you may notice emotional distress or mental health symptoms. These responses are not signs of weakness. They are your body and mind’s natural way of reacting to danger and harm. Some survivors feel overwhelmed, numb, anxious, angry, confused, or afraid. Others may struggle with sleep, memory, concentration, appetite, or self-esteem. These effects may show up right away or gradually over time—and may come and go. However you’re feeling, it is real. You are not alone. Mental health care does not have to mean long-term therapy—though it can. Support might include short-term counseling, group spaces, crisis services, medication, or tools that help you regulate your emotions, restore safety, or rebuild trust. What feels helpful will be different for everyone. If you are caring for children, your healing can also support theirs—and you deserve care that allows you to show up for both yourself and them. Like physical health services, many mental health resources are free or low-cost. You may also be eligible for reimbursement through a victim compensation program. To learn more, visit the Office for Victims of Crime.(https://ovc.ojp.gov/) Below are some types of mental health support you may consider: • Individual or group counseling • Crisis services or trauma recovery programs • Drop-in support or peer-led groups • 24/7 hotlines, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/)or the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (https://www.loveisrespect.org/) • Psychological screening or psychiatric evaluation • Medication for anxiety, depression, sleep issues, or trauma responses • Nonspeaking supports, such as art, movement, or music-based care • Sensory regulation tools or emotional safety plans You can explore what works for you at your own pace. Some survivors seek support right away. Others take time or begin with smaller steps. There is no right or wrong approach. If you are in school You may be able to access free or low-cost mental health support through your college or university. Many schools offer confidential counseling, trauma response teams, peer groups, or LGBTQ+ resources. You might also be able to access academic accommodations or referrals to providers in the community. If your school does not offer trauma-informed support, or if you experience barriers because of your identity or access needs, you can ask for help finding off-campus care. Your school is required under Title IX to assist you with this. If navigating school systems feels overwhelming, you can also reach out to an advocacy center (https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/directory-of-local-providers/)or hotline for guidance. If you are working Some workplaces offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), which include free, short-term mental health support. These programs can help you meet with a counselor or connect to additional care. You can ask HR about these options without having to share personal details. If your mental health is affecting your ability to work, you may also have the right to request accommodations. These can include flexible hours, quiet spaces, modified communication formats, or extra breaks. You are not required to explain your situation in order to ask for support. Accessing care in your community If school or workplace services are unavailable or not the right fit, you can find care through community resources. You can: • Visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/directory-of-local-providers/)to connect with a local counselor or advocacy center • Search Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/)for trauma-informed therapists in your state (filters available for insurance, location, cultural background, and LGBTQ+ affirming care) • Look into community mental health centers, sliding-scale clinics, or survivor-specific organizations • Ask a trusted friend, support person, or advocate to help you explore your options or make appointments If phone calls are difficult, try emailing, using live chat, or having someone contact the provider for you. Some survivors also prefer asynchronous support, such as therapy apps, text-based platforms, or video reflections. These can be especially helpful for those with neurodivergent processing needs or communication differences. You are allowed to ask for accommodations in your mental health care. That may include: • Requesting written communication instead of verbal intake • Bringing a support person or communication aide • Asking for sensory-friendly spaces, visual schedules, or slower-paced sessions • Using AAC or alternative communication tools • Setting boundaries around topics, language, or physical touch You do not have to explain or defend what you need. Mental health care should work for you—not force you to fit someone else’s model of care. If you are looking for expressive or community-based support Music can be used in many different ways, and there is no single right path. Some survivors choose music therapy, which is a clinical service provided by board-certified music therapists in settings such as hospitals, mental health programs, schools, and treatment centers. Music therapy is designed to support therapeutic goals and may include songwriting, guided listening, improvisation, or instrument-based work, depending on the provider and your needs. Others are looking for something non-clinical. Voicelore offers free, community-based programs that use music as a form of expression, connection, and shared understanding. These offerings are not therapy and do not replace medical or mental health care. Instead, they provide creative spaces that are trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming, and structured with emotional safety and respect in mind. The Reclaiming (https://voicelore.org/survivors)is Voicelore’s program for survivors of sexual assault or harassment, domestic or dating violence, and stalking. It is a structured program rooted in professional songwriting and music production, not treatment or education. No musical background is required. Survivors participate as artists, engaging with music in ways that feel accessible and meaningful to them. For those who are not ready for a structured program, The Murmuring (https://voicelore.org/community)offers optional community gatherings and shared spaces for reflection, conversation, and music-centered connection. Participation is flexible, and listening is always as welcome as speaking. It is okay to choose clinical care, community-based support, or both. Some people move between different forms of care over time, while others find that creative spaces and therapy serve different purposes. What matters is finding support that respects your autonomy, your pace, and your capacity. Whether music is central to your healing or simply one small part of it, you deserve care that meets you where you are.

Each school and workplace has its own conduct process for handling reports of domestic or dating violence. These processes are separate from law enforcement and are designed to address whether someone violated the institution’s internal policies—not whether a crime occurred. At school, this might mean a formal investigation, a student conduct hearing, or a conflict resolution process. At work, the process may involve human resources, written statements, internal review, or a meeting with supervisors. Some environments are responsive and supportive. Others may feel procedural, intimidating, or emotionally difficult—especially for neurodivergent survivors or those with past experiences of dismissal or harm in institutional settings. You are not required to participate in any conduct process. If you choose to, you are allowed to: • Ask for a clear explanation of the steps before making a decision • Bring a support person or advocate • Request accommodations for trauma, disability, or sensory needs • Use written communication instead of verbal • Pause or withdraw from the process at any time Not every school or workplace handles interpersonal violence well. If you do not feel safe or supported, you can ask for modifications—or choose not to move forward. There is no obligation to engage with a process that increases harm. To learn more about how school-based processes work, you can visit the Equal Rights Advocates’ Student Survivor Toolkit (https://www.equalrights.org/issue/student-survivor-toolkit/)or Know Your IX.(https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/campaigns/know-your-ix/) For workplace support, the National Women’s Law Center’s Legal Network for Gender Equity (https://nwlc.org/legal-assistance/)and Workplaces Respond (https://www.workplacesrespond.org/)can help you understand your rights and next steps. Whether or not you choose to participate in a school or workplace process, your safety and healing matter. You are allowed to take your time, ask questions, and decide what’s right for you.

If the person who harmed you is arrested, the case is forwarded to a prosecutor. That prosecutor may speak with you and seem supportive, but it is important to know they are not your attorney. They represent the government—specifically, your state. If you want someone who is truly on your side throughout the legal process, you have the right to seek your own legal advice. Some lawyers and nonprofit organizations provide free legal services to survivors of domestic or dating violence. You do not need to face the system alone, and you deserve guidance that is clear, compassionate, and rooted in your interests. You can also reach out to WomensLaw.org,(https://www.womenslaw.org/laws) which offers legal information and helps survivors of all genders find support in their state. If a prosecutor asks to speak with you, try to approach it the way you did with law enforcement. You are allowed to ask questions, take your time, and use any communication tools that help you feel grounded. If spoken communication feels difficult, consider writing down what you want to say or bringing a support person. You do not have to sound a certain way to be believed. After reviewing the case, the prosecutor will decide whether to move forward with charges. Sometimes they will choose not to pursue the case—even if you want them to. Other times, they may move forward even if you are unsure. In most states, they will not force you to participate in court against your will, but they are not required to follow your wishes either. If they do pursue the case, they will determine what charges to file and begin the next steps of the criminal legal process. That process may include: 1. Investigation 2. Charging 3. Arraignment 4. Discovery 5. Plea Bargaining 6. Preliminary Hearing 7. Pre-Trial Motions 8. Trial 9. Post-Trial Motions 10. Sentencing 11. Appeal You can read more about each of these stages on the United States Department of Justice website.(https://www.justice.gov/usao/justice-101/steps-federal-criminal-process) Most cases end in plea bargaining, which means the case is resolved without a trial. This often means you will not have to testify. But in some situations, a trial does occur—and you may be asked to speak in court. If you do testify, remember that you are allowed to feel what you feel. You can cry, pause, ask for a break, or bring a comfort item like a water bottle or something to hold. If your voice shakes or your memory falters, it does not mean you are not credible. Trauma can affect speech, memory, and clarity. Focus on the questions, not the people in the room. The person who harmed you and their supporters may be present, and their attorney may try to discredit you. This can be painful—but it does not erase the truth of what you lived through. You can ask for trauma-informed courtroom accommodations, such as testifying behind a screen or through video, depending on your state. For more information about what it’s like to testify, visit the National Institute of Justice.(https://nij.ojp.gov/nij-hosted-online-training-courses/law-101-legal-guide-forensic-expert/general-testifying-tips) Just like you have rights as a student or employee, you also have rights as a survivor in the criminal justice system. These may include: • Protection of your privacy and safety • The right to receive updates about the case • Accommodations for trauma, disability, or communication needs • A support person during hearings • The ability to give a victim impact statement if there is sentencing Some states also allow parents and caregivers to request accommodations that take children into account—such as scheduling considerations, supervised child-friendly spaces at court, or support from family advocacy centers. If your child was directly harmed or affected by the violence, you may also be able to access support on their behalf. If you are in the process of separation, divorce, or dealing with shared custody, it may help to speak with a legal advocate who understands how criminal and family court systems interact. In some cases, the outcome of a criminal or civil case can influence custody or visitation decisions, but that is not guaranteed. A lawyer can help you understand how to document concerns or prepare for future proceedings related to your child’s safety and care. To learn more about your rights, call or text the VictimConnect Resource Center's Referral Helpline (https://victimconnect.org/)at 1-855-484-2846 or chat with a specialist.(https://victimconnect.org/get-help/victimconnect-chat/) You can also visit VINELink (https://www.vinelink.com/)to stay updated on the status of the case and receive notifications about hearings, transfers, or release dates. If the prosecutor declines to file charges, the case is dismissed, or your rights are violated along the way, you may still have legal options. One option is to file a civil lawsuit, which allows you to pursue financial compensation from the person who harmed you. Civil cases do not require a criminal conviction and are held in a different court. The burden of proof is lower, and you may be able to seek justice in a way that feels more centered on your needs. To learn more about filing a civil case, visit WomensLaw.org.(https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/domestic-violencedating-violence) But most importantly: it is okay if you choose not to pursue the criminal or civil legal process. Not every survivor wants to go to court. Not every case is pursued, even if you want it to be. You are still a survivor. You are still worthy of care, protection, and respect. Whatever path you choose, your healing and safety matter. There is no one “right” way to seek justice. There is only the way that is right for you.